Mom Wrote About Her Weekend With Dad

January 4, 2006

This past weekend, New Year’s weekend, December 30, 2005 thru Jan 2, 2006, we went to be with Daddy and Aunt Phyllis. We left our house about 6:30 pm. Just before walking down the stairs to the garage, Rick started acting nervous and upset. He was uncertain as to where we were going. I explained that we were going to my dad’s house and that seemed to calm him down for a short time.

As we were traveling to Roanoke, he would say things like, “I just want to have my family around me.” Or “I want you to be with me.” I would try to reassure him that I was not going any where. It seemed to help him only for a short time and he would be anxious again.
The first night at Daddy’s, we went to bed and he fell asleep right away. But about 3:30 am he was awake pushing the covers off him and starting to stand up. I would tell him, “Rick, it’s not time to get up. Get back in the bed.” And pull the covers back on him. Finally, I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom. He said yes. But he couldn’t figure out where to go. So I got up and went with him. We both emptied our bladders and then went back to bed. He went back to sleep.

About 5:30 am he was up again trying to get out of the bed. And then pacing back and forth in the room. Opening up the door to stick his head out and then closing it again. I kept asking him what was wrong but he couldn’t seem to answer me. I remembered that I had gotten a prescription from Dr. Pearce for Xanax that I had not filled. But I knew that my dad used Xanax too. So I went out to the kitchen to find Daddy’s Xanax. He had the .5 mg and Rick’s prescription was for .25 mg. So I took one pill and broke it in half and gave it to Rick. I urged him back to bed and he went back to sleep again until about 8:30 am.

Through out the day I noticed that he was not content to be away from me. Usually he would like to sit in the breezeway and watch TV. So I got the TV set up for him but he would not stay out there and watch it. Every where I went he would go too. Occasionally he would ask what was happening next. Of course, I would tell him what was happening. He would ask if I was going to be with him. I would tell him yes.

This went on all weekend. He went with Daddy to get the mail in Troutville. He was very unsure about going with Daddy since I wasn’t going too. Every time we got into the car he would ask what was happening. He would pace the floor, back and forth. Occasionally he would leave the table where we were talking and go to the chair in the living room and take a nap.
Of course, I have to walk him thru everything he does. Taking his shower, getting dressed, and brushing his teeth. I get his cereal ready for him in the mornings, comb his hair, and pick out his clothes. He told someone, I believe it was Daddy, that he was very dependent on me. And that is the understatement of the year.

I was hoping that when we got back home and in his usual environment that he would get back to normal. But that has not been the case. We got home Monday morning about 11:00 am after stopping by the drug store to get his Xanax prescription filled. He has been following me around like a puppy dog ever since. He follows me and Kasee follows him. It is just the same. He sits in my office while I work. Gets up occasionally to look at my computer. I know he doesn’t take any of it in.

Yesterday, he did go out to rake for about an hour or so. That was good. But when he was in the house he was right with me. If I went to the kitchen he came in there. We would sit to watch TV, if I got up during a commercial, he would follow me.

Some time during the day he realized that I was talking to the girls about staying with him while I was gone to Houston next week. He said, “I think I can stay here by myself.” I told him that I didn’t think he could. What if something happened to him like what happened the last time I was gone. It would be bad if he were here all alone. He again said, “I know I can stay by my self.” I again said, “I know you can’t.” He was not happy with this.

We had Emma over yesterday evening while Cheryl and Jeremy went to dinner and a movie. Emma wanted to watch The Little Mermaid, which is on video and we had to go into the bedroom to use the TV in there that has a built in VCR. So Emma and I set up on the bed. I left Rick in the living room watching the Hallmark channel which has shows that he likes to watch. Shortly he came into the bedroom, looking at the bed like he wanted to sit down too. But there wasn’t enough room for him on the double bed so I suggested he get a chair to bring in there so he could watch too. He did.

When the movie was over, we went back out to the living room. Emma colored on the floor and we watched the Hallmark channel. Walker was on, Rick’s favorite program. Then Emma wanted to watch Little Drummer Boy, a DVD. I asked Rick if he was willing to go into the bedroom to finish watching his show so we could use the DVD player in the living room. He reluctantly agreed. Well, when I started to get out the DVD, it wasn’t in the case. So we couldn’t watch it. When I went in to get Rick to ask if he wanted to come back out to the living room, he was asleep on the bed. (I really don’t believe he gets anything out of the movies any more.)
Well, Emma went home and Rick continued to follow me around the house. We finished watching the Hallmark 9:00 movie and then went into our bedroom to go to bed. I suggested he get ready for bed and I went into the guest room to get the chair out and turn off the TV. He followed me in there and then into the office as I put the chair away. Then out to the kitchen and back into the bedroom. All the while Kasee was following him. So we had a follow the leader of three.

I got in the bed and urged Rick to get in bed. He was pacing around the room. Finally he got on the bed and sat cross legged facing me. He said, “Is this the way it is going to be?” I asked him, “Is this the way what is going to be?” He said, “You and me.” I asked him, “What do you mean?” He couldn’t come up with an answer. So I said, “Rick, it is time to go to bed. Lay down and go to sleep.” So after sitting there for a little bit he lay down. I could hear him sniffling. Then he got up and started pacing again. I just laid there trying to go to sleep, hoping he would come to bed and go to sleep. He didn’t. So after 5-10 minutes of this, I got up, went and got a Xanax for him, and then led him to the bed, to help him lay down. He said, “I’m not going to let you go.” I told him, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. Now it is time to go to bed.” And I helped him lay down. I could hear the sniffling some but he did go on to sleep this time.
He actually didn’t wake up until 6:00 this morning. He got up and started fiddling with the bed covers. I said, “Well, it is time for you to take your shower.” He didn’t make any move to go to the shower. So I got up and started the shower for him and helped him get in. He got the shampoo and used it as bath soap. I had to tell him to use the regular soap on his body. Then he only washed his bottom and under arms. Then I had to tell him to wash his hair. Then I handed him the towel to dry.

As usual, I got his underclothes together and put them on the sink for him to put on. Put his pants and shirt on the door knob. He was then able to get dressed slowly. He did remember to put on deodorant.

I was hoping he would be feeling better this morning. But he had a hard time reading our devotional because he kept choking up. I asked him if he was anxious this morning and he said “No.” But I ended up giving him a Xanax before he left to go to work. He hugged me and kissed me good bye like he wasn’t going to see me again for a long time.

Erin said that as she was taking him to the center, she tried to ask him what was going on and he couldn’t answer her. He finally said, “I’m sad for Mom.”

I am so glad he is gone to the center today. I need a break. I will go pick him up early today to take him to see Dr. Ellis, the neurosurgeon, who is going to check out the hemorrhage. I was told that the seizure would not cause his Alzheimer’s to become worse, but it is definitely worse. I hope that it will get better, that this is all temporary and will improve as he recovers from the seizure and hemorrhage. I’m getting very frustrated with this behavior and having difficulty handling it.

I have to go to Houston on Monday, January 9, 2006. I know that is part of what he is concerned about. The girls are graciously figuring out how to keep him supervised. They are great and willingly taking on this responsibility. I hate to have to put this on them. I know it is going to be more than they want to handle.