Some funny things Dad said at the hospital

Me: Dad, did something bad happen to you yesterday?
Dad: Well...I wouldn't....say....it was....bad. What Dr. Pearce....tried to...let me know....tried to intimate to me....was that the science....of what this bag represents (while tapping the empty fast food bag)....what it is showing us...is that we can ..... anticipate....a postive outcome.
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Me: Dad, what happened to your face?
Dad: Oh, I don't know. It must have something to do with one of the springs your mother had going.
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Dad and Mom were sitting in the rocking chairs in the hospital room, and Dad decided he needed to face the other direction. He started turning the chair around while sitting in it, then schooching it forward while sitting in it, until he had it lodged between the foot of the bed and the wall.
Me: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: Well, I guess I can't go any farther, can I?
Then, he couldn't rock, so Mom had him stand up and she readjusted his chair so he was beside her and able to rock. But then, he had to turn his head around to talk with me. So he started moving his chair again, that same schooching motion while seated. He turned the chair all the way around so that his back was facing me and he was looking out the window! So mom had him stand up again, and she moved her chair and his chair so that they were directly facing each other, sitting knee to knee. Then he was comfortable for awhile.
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I was going to make a joke about Dad owing me for the desk he fell on, which isn't really broken.
Me: Dad, I came here to collect the money...
Mom: What money?
Dad: Well, the money she came here expecting to collect, of course!
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Mom and I were talking about how scary it all was. I said that it's good for me to see Dad up and healthy again, because the image of the actual seizure keeps haunting me. She said, "I know, it was scary for you."
Dad (all of a sudden, focusing on what was going on): Did something scare you?
Mom: You did, hon. You gave Tamara quite a scare yesterday.
Me: Yes, I was really scared yesterday.
Dad (with tears in his eyes): Well, if there was anything I said or did to scare you, I'm sorry! I never would want to scare you!
Me: Well, dad, I forgive you (with a laugh). But you didn't do anything to me. I was scared because of what was happening to you. You were laying on the floor shaking and twitching with the seizure, there was blood on your face, on my arm and on my carpet. I was scared for you, not because of you.
Dad: Oh...(still a little emotional, but more confused than anything). Well, I sincerely apologize.